A Moment To Be Real
I have been grappling of late with being able to discern between our autonomy in this life and how much is a direct flow from universe, and to be fair it’s a process in which I was really finding it hard to gain clarity and a definitive answer (which let's be real is an answer in itself). Throughout this journey of awakening I have more often than not leaned to the idea that if you hand over control to the universe she will lead you to what is right and what is needed at any given moment. That when we hold hands with the universe and allow her to take the wheel we are able to find a freedom and ease that is unlike anything experienced before. Now for me this is in stark contrast to my belief that we are in control of our lives and that it is up to us to take the initiative in all areas of our life. We are the authors of our own story and that in order for us to live a full and whole life we need to take control and make shit happen.
This leaves me in one hell of a pickle.
How much of our life is dictated by a predetermined path of life lessons and moments and how much of it is of our own writing?
I am coming to the realisation that it needn't be one or the other that it can be a meshing of the two, that they can work hand in hand to bring about the life and paths that we forge for ourselves. For whatever reasons prior to coming into this life each of us chose the lessons, the challenges and the blockages that we were to work through in this lifetime. We decided to live the life that we are currently in and felt we were strong enough, resilient enough, aware enough to encounter each and every challenge that we have faced and will continue to face within this life. By working through these teachable moments, we are able to gain a higher understanding of just how strong, resilient and capable we truly are. In this way even before we set about this life we were taking action in creating our own journey through this time line, but in the very same instance as we move along this path we are given choices and a freedom to enact our own ways of behaving and asserting ourselves within each and every situation that comes our way. In any given interaction that we find ourselves in, be it with another person, with our guides or with our self we are afforded an opportunity to make a choice. A choice on how we receive the information that is given to us within that interaction, a choice on how we chose to react to that interaction and on what we choose to take away from it.
For too long there has been a tendency to view the nature of trusting the universe to guide us as a way of relinquishing any type of accountability for the ways in which things unfold. It’s a way to avoid having to take ownership of our life and laying blame at someone or something else as an escape from the fact that we are always afforded a choice. You can put your trust and faith in the universe and the belief that she will bring you the places, people and moments that are for your higher self but the ways in which we take those moments, that we interact with those people and the what we take from those places in solely on us and us alone.
Here in lies my conflict of sorts with this notion. On the one hand I offer myself up freely to the universe letting go of the need to control each facet of my life and allowing what flows to come freely as it does, to not force any situation or connection and to just allow things to happen in a natural and cosmic way. Then there is the part of me that over the last 12 months has really put a focus on speaking my truth and owning my power and energy, in being open to saying what I am feeling and thinking and leaning into my fear of being open and vulnerability. How can I in one context give control but then in the next instance take control of a situation and grab life by the balls?
The truth is that to have one you must have the other, that with allowing the universe to bring you the lessons and situations that you need you are going to be given the opportunity to practice discernment, to make choices and back yourself knowing that whatever choice is made will lead you on a new path and a new teachable moment to reflect back on. There is a correlation between the two as they intertwine in a magical tryst whereby allowing us the ability to allow flow showing us the path we are set to cruise down but allowing us the steering wheel of how we actually get there.
To me this is a direct reflection on the duality mentality that we are brought up with.
Good or bad.
Right or wrong.
Left or right.
We are constantly fed this notion that things need to black or white but in actual fact things are a wonderful array of grey and magic where right is wrong, bad is good and one cannot exist without the other. When it comes to our journey of enlightenment every moment is subjective for each and every one of us will experience something similar but have a vastly different outcome and reasoning behind the moment itself.
In actuality this is less about whether we give up control or take ownership and is more about the delicate balancing act of allowing the flow of energy to come into our lives and owning the choices that we get to make along the way.
I guess you can have your cake and eat it too.